Don’t Shut Down, Stand Your Ground!!
By: ARIEL J. WARDEN-JARRETT, MD, FAAFP
Have you ever felt that a provider did not listen to you or take your concerns seriously? Chances are, we have ALL felt that way at some point. But I have realized that communication gaps are often the roots of these frustrations. Allow me to explain.
Through the years, I have treated hundreds of women going through menopause who came to me because they didn’t think their gynecologist “cared… or they would have ordered the hormone levels.” I used to get so frustrated when patients came to me, and I had to clean up the “misunderstanding created by a specialist.” Some patients were even prepared to find a new gynecologist because the last one “did not order hormone levels…” Some women had tears in their eyes, and I could sense their pain.
I acknowledged the pain, then shared the current guidelines of hormone testing in their age group. Once this was done, I added that in their case, their gynecologist had simply followed the guidelines, and what they were feeling was part of a normal process. They thanked me for taking the time to explain, then looked me in the eyes to ask why the specialist had not explained it “the way I did…”
Now doing that set me back with scheduling each time, but it was an investment worth making, as I am a doctor for the people! However, I realize that many patients do not ask questions when they matter the most during office visits.
Here are my tips to foster stronger communication skills during your visits. Don’t shut down, stand your ground.
- Plan our questions ahead of time and write them down. Keep in mind that your provider typically only has 15 min to address your concerns. Don’t be offended if your provider requests a follow-up visit to provide adequate time to address your needs.
- Find out your provider’s preference for more complicated questions. Perhaps they may prefer a message in the portal ahead of the visit so they have time to do research or they may want to do the research after the visit…
- Don’t be so quick to switch providers or offices after a single issue. If you don’t understand, or feel unheard, don’t shut down, but rather try to redirect and share how you are feeling in that moment. If the provider dismisses you, THEN look for another provider that you can better connect with.
If you don’t remember anything, remember this, don’t shut down and stand your ground.
